Updated: Jun 29
Here's a concept to consider: we are all fully in control of our lives; our realities.
When you look through a portal of things happening to you, it’s very easy to apply that principle to everything that happens during your day:
My alarm didn’t go off so I couldn’t get up on time
The milk was sour so I couldn’t have breakfast
The internet was down so I couldn’t do any work until it came back on
It all sounds pretty exhausting...
But even changing those sentences creates more opportunity for us to succeed:
I allowed myself to rest a little longer this morning & then hit the ground running
I fasted this morning & now I’m going to enjoy a really nutritious lunch
I had some screen-free time this morning & used it to catch up on some reading I keep meaning to do
If you use these examples to find opportunities to do things differently & decide what you want moving forwards (maybe you decide you like black coffee, maybe you decide to start leaving notes for yourself when the milk runs low...) you create a better environment for your future self - you set yourself up to receive all the good things (& seemingly happy coincidences) that can happen for you.
The same goes for things at work. If you find that you’re constantly wondering why people act a certain way towards you, or why others always get the opportunities you want... it’s time to take accountability for your own success.
What kind of person is that, who always gets put forward for promotion, who winds up with the best projects, the most collaborative team, all the praise? Who is she, what’s she like, what does she do?
It’s true, there are people out there who do seem to get everything they don’t deserve - but there’s a crucial part of what they’re doing that gets them everything they want.
They act like it’s already happening
If you knew you were going to get good feedback from a project you just completed - would you sit behind your desk wondering about what people were saying about you (or if anyone would even notice), or would you step into your boss’ office the next morning to ask how they thought it went? Probably the latter, right? That’s the opportunity you’re creating.
When you believe something is already so, you create a cycle for it to happen again & again
By expecting something to happen, you naturally acting as though it's your normality - therefore subconsciously creating the opportunity for it to happen in reality. When that happens, it builds evidence for your brain to accept that it’s truth, which rewards & reinforces the behaviour that created the opportunity in the first place.
When you don’t believe it to be a possibility for you, it’s not. You are your only limit. The work to make this shift & subconscious transformation (so you can break through those limits & start creating that natural cycle of things you want to happen) is crucial to stop holding yourself back from receiving everything you’ve ever wanted.
Once you understand & believe that you design your own destiny, it’s all yours for the taking - then it comes down to accountability. Are you going to let your life happen to you, or start creating opportunities for things to happen for you?
Looking at a workplace example, consider a time when you've been totally overwhelmed with workload (too many projects, not enough support, no one’s really listening, you’re having to figure things out on your own...) you knew something would go wrong.
The most important thing here is that thing’s don't go wrong, but you’re going to let it happen because the belief you're holding is that this overwhelm & lack of support is happening to you.
So let’s reframe, & take accountability. This time, you’re not prepared to let it all go wrong (because you’re that person now, remember - the one who gets the good feedback, the praise, the exciting projects, the bonus. And things don’t go wrong for her).
What do you do differently?
Decide it’s time to set some workload boundaries with your boss
Start delegating with authority to your team, to clear space (& energy) for you to do the work you need to do
Sit down with a colleague or mentor & ask for help (because getting it right is more important than being right)
What are the chances of things going wrong now vs receiving positive feedback, proving yourself, and that step towards your promotion ticked off?
Accountability is everything when it comes to our success, especially at work. There are enough people who scapegoat their way through their career - but their success is simply showing you what’s possible when you decide to move yourself forwards (& how you don't want to do it).
Success isn’t a finite resource.
Success looks different to everybody - by taking accountability for your own performance, by showing up as your best & taking the initiative to grow & develop of your own accord, you’re demonstrating the value you know you have (& trust me, when you get to that point, it’s impossible to hide it!)